Sunday, April 27, 2008
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a hardass, I don't do discussions about feelings, and rarely show emotion. I also have a relationship with my brother in which we get along much better when we live in different states or countries, and rarely talk not when we live in the same house. So over Passover, my brother being his usual typical self couldn't be bothered to do anything to help me. I admit that I did overreact but on the other hand I had finally snapped. I was holding everything I've wanted to say to him since he's been back, and I finally couldn't take it anymore. Of course do my parents say anything about his lack of helpfulness? Of course not, but to me it's all about how awful I am to him, why did I overreact, he's such a good boy and on and on. Now mind you point by point-awful I barely speak to him how can I be awful? When I do speak to him it's with one side of my mouth bitten. Overreact, well there's no question that I did, I admitted that but in my defense I also snapped. Good boy-my ass, he doesn't do crap but expects the world to be handed to him on a platinum (not silver) platter. I don't deal with this crap. So later on, I'm doing the dishes and my brother is like why don't we have a chat. I give him this look that basically says he's nuts. I told him that I don't do chats or discussions and if he wants to have one he can have it with himself. He wants to know why we don't have a better relationship. You want to know why-1. You're annoying. 2. He puts on this act as if he's so religous to my parents, however I know better. Believe I've seen it before, he comes back and for 3 months he's all about how he's going to be so much better and religous but then it ends. However the act that he puts on with my parents doesn't. I've seen him do stuff that he swears he doesn't do to my parents. You know what, stop lying, and definately stop telling me what the Jewish laws are. That's what Rabbis are for, and you are far from one. 3. He has a fake accent. Now that may not annoy most people, but it does my. It's a fake Israeli accent and it comes and goes, as he remembers how religous he's supposed to be. Stop playing around. 4. He expects the world handed to him, without having to do crap and only relying on his "contacts" whoever they are. That's not how life is. Yes there's nepotism in the world, but they actually have to do something. So far he hasn't. He may not be college material, but he's more than capable of studying something. He doesn't. How will he get through life without knowing what a P&L is, how to read it, and understand it? Since that's what he wants to do. Or anything else that's related to the business world. That's about it. Now, how on earth am I supposed to say that to him without him getting all bent out of shaped? I can't and that's why we don't have a relationship. As for my parents, I've realized that I'm the child they don't care about. I'm the one who will get yelled at, told to go to hell and all of that. Now that's fine, but will they please stop pretending as if they actually give a flipping damn? That just bugs me, because they don't. They go on pretending. I just wish that they'd stop it. So how do I get through family dinners? I drink, have a nice buzz on goes along way.